Ghost Rider (Theatrical Release)

Release Date: 2/16/07
Starring Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Wes Bentley, Peter Fonda, Donal Logue, Sam Elliott
Written and Directed by Mark Steven Johnson
Rated PG-13
My Rating: 2/10

This is the latest in a seemingly endless string of comic book adaptations currently coming down the pike, and is easily right near the bottom of the barrel, if not the absolute worst that I have had the personal displeasure to view. I'm sure the negative hype has caught up to this movie at this point, but this is one of those rare cases where the negative word of mouth really doesn't do it justice. Yes, it's really THAT bad.

We open on a young Johnny Blaze (Matt Long), and his father Barton (Brett Cullen) making money as a daredevil tandem, making crazy jumps on their motorcycles. Barton is dying of cancer however, and one late night Johnny gets visited the one and only Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda as the devil. Sounds awesome right? nope.) Johnny ends up signing away his soul in exchange for his father's health, but in a SUPER IRONIC twist, Barton ends up dying in a motorcycle accident that very evening.

With me so far? We pick up a few decades later where Johnny is the most popular stunt driver around (aided by his ability to survive any crash without a scratch). He also for some reason has become an A-1 nutjob who drinks martini glasses full of jelly beans and listens to nothing but The Carpenters.

Here's where an already overplotted movie starts to get even more dense: The devil's son Blackheart (Wes Bentley of American Beauty fame, making a rare motion picture appearance) has enlisted several demons to help him search for a scroll which contains (I believe) a list of evil souls that, if procured, would enable him to overthrow his father and bring Hell to earth and end the world, blah blah blah. In an attempt to combat him, good old Mephi calls in his favor with Johnny and turns him into his "ghost rider", a flaming skeleton that rides the streets at night, doing his bidding. As if losing his skin and getting set on fire once an evening wasn't enough, Johnny's childhood sweetheart Roxanne (Eva Mendes, as hot as always) has resurfaced as a fairly obnoxious tv reporter.

Honestly, I felt so silly actually describing all of that. But I digress. Honestly, it's been a couple of weeks since I've seen this, and it was so dull and unmemorable that I am struggling to remember all of the points I wanted to make in this review.

One of the biggest problems with the movie is probably Wes Bentley. He is about as intimidating as a pussycat and never once registers as an intimidating villain, not even a little bit. The same can be said of the legendary Peter Fonda. For supposedly playing the devil, he acts awfully ineffectual. Sam Elliott does the same Sam Elliott performance he's done a million times before and can pull off in his sleep as a man named "The Caretaker" who helps Johnny deal with his newfound powers. Eva Mendes is overshadowed by her cleavage. Perhaps sensing all the dullness around him, Cage is in full Face Off style ham mode, chewing as much scenery as he possibly can and even digging out his faux Elvis southern accent.

These dull performances are augmented by special effects that are...well...frankly, less than impressive. Everything is way too over the top and cartoony looking. I suppose the argument can be made that this is the proper visual style for a silly over the top comic book adaptation, but personally, I found the fakeness of the effects to be distracting. It managed to take me out of the movie even more than I already was.

The public has spoken however, and if a sequel hasn't already been greenlit, it most likely will soon enough. Personally, I struggled to stay awake through the first one, so you can go ahead and count me out for any subsequent installments.